When daddy left home when I was 3, he didn't leave much for ma and me, except this old guitar and this mighty game called BP. I couldn't blame him because he went and hid, but the meanest thing he ever did, was he went and left and named me Sue. I caught crap from a lot of folks, got my base pounded after several pokes. I went from all over sector just to hide my shame. I swore on Swag, Greta, and Zoe. That if I ever found my dad-MyThoony, I would drop steel rain on the man that gave me that awful name.
It was a silly raid called Pinkie Pie, I dropped in a sector, my throat was dry. I thought I would have myself a brew. There at a Pinkie warzone using thuds, calling his GF for another bud, sat the dirty mangy dude that named me Sue. I knew it was my old man from a pic on FB, his mustache made him look just like a crook. I used my Nighthawks and ambushed his silly arse. He moved too late as I got him good, but he dropped a pinch that drew some blood. I went for my Rays, gave him a taste of my guns. He countered with, his Nighthawks too, but after 5 minutes, we both were through. I recalled my fleet and went for my fancy gear. He cursed my name in obvious disgust and started to coin, but I coined first. And that is when he started to crack a smile. "You got me good, we had a fight. But before you coin more tonight, I think I have to explain why I gave you that awful name. I play hard and fast. I play all hours, I never say sorry or give out flowers. I am an old salty dog that never backs down from a fight. I never spent time with any of y'all, because you would not let me coin it all. So I gave you that name to help you along. Now you just played a game of serious might, and your entitled to your right, to drop morts on me until the base is gone. But before you do, just remember who gave you keyboard face and that silly dread, because I am the crazy dude that named you Sue."
Well, what was I to do? I got all choked up, put down my mouse, dropped him a pinch, then ran over his base, with a different point of view. I think about him every now and then. When I lose a fleet or when I win. But if I have a kid, I think I will name him..Swag, Borg, or Mercury. Anything but Sue, I still hate that name!